It’s official that I’m amazing ;] puhahahaha well it doesn’t really matter to me whether people think that or not. Does it really? All I have to do is just continue doing what I have to do and being awesome. It doesn’t have to be known…..although it’d be nice XDDDD

And another thing before I start: yeah, changed the layout XDD sorry if it’s too simple for some people, but I love simplicity. In like…..everything XD clothes, food, yadda yadda. So yeah. Any more info about the layout is in the “the site” page since I update that every time I have a new layout ;]

So this will be another one of my “stream of thought” posts. Ready? GO!!

So yeah I was talking to this “other person” about presents and flowers….god knows how it got to that. But anyways, I told them about what I personally thought about giving flowers as gifts or whatever. If someone gave me flowers as a present, I’d seriously feel insulted. Don’t get me wrong, I love flowers, but only when they’re actually rooted to the ground and alive. Once you wrap them up and give them to someone, by the end of the day, they’re already either starting to die or halfway there. And a decent bouquet these days is like what, $20…..so you’re basically paying $20 to get me something that’ll die. I really really don’t like seeing flowers die, it kind of makes me depressed. So yeah, I don’t like getting flowers as if they’re supposed to make me happy about how momentary they are. One thing I like doing though is taking single petals and putting them in books and never taking them out for like another 5yrs. And then laminating it. I wonder where I got that from…….well EITHER WAY XD I digress…..but yeah that person was just like “well people use flowers for giving respect for funerals, so you really shouldn’t be saying that” and I’m just like “we’re asian, we give hella better stuff to the dead than frakkin flowers like actual food and BEER….I don’t know where the hell that tradition came from, but we have it so LET’S USE IT” XDD

And that kind of (I guess?) leads into my next thought: how people think I’m some kind of radical or rebel. I don’t really consider myself as a rebel….it’s not like I’ve done anything controversial worthy of the public’s attention. Well at the same time, that’s not what one has to do to be a rebel, I guess. Still. I still don’t think I’m a rebel. It’s just that I somehow started to think about life from an early age and just kept on thinking and thinking. While most other kids were worried about cooties, I was worried about my purpose in life. I just think of a lot of things differently from a lot of people. Maybe I’m weird/eccentric but I’m not….a rebel….what? And I know I’ve kept a lot of opinions to myself until now, but….seriously? Before people used to bitch about how I never said anything and now that I do say some things, they bitch at that, too. You’re just upset cause I’m not telling you what you wanna hear. Well, too bad. You’re not gonna hear what you wanna hear and you’re not gonna be treated the way you wanna be treated. The world is a place full of twisted realities and ideas and it’s hell not fair at all. It’s being run by humans, of course it’s not fair.

And that somehow leads into the next topic: reality. Well, more like how I think truth and reality are different. I mean I guess you can use those words interchangeably in some situations, but I realized that I don’t like to do that. To me, reality is something that exists in each of our minds. Everyone has their own reality and as some of us might know, some people like to skew reality to their twisted favor. They create their own mental world and drag other people into it, making it like a mental prison for others. The truth on the other hand, to me, is the underlying layer of facts and whatever else. Many people might not really know that the “truth” is, but it’s still there and will never change. You can believe whatever you want, but that won’t change the truth. However, you can change your own reality and try to make yourself and others believe otherwise. If that even makes sense XD

Now this isn’t really that related to the previous topic, but it popped up in my head anyways so here we go. This is for all the people out there who came out of a relationship. If you feel like your ex has left some kind of gap in your mind/heart/soul/whatever, honestly, there is absolutely no need for there to be a gap. I’m not saying this cause I’m like cold or anything. It’s just that I’ve gone through the whole feeling-the-gap phase for a while without really telling anyone and then I slowly realized that there was really no reason for me to feel so empty about this person. Mainly because that person was only there for a short period in my life. Well for some people it might not be so short, but still, if that person wasn’t like there ever since you were little and it’s not like some cute story about childhood friends being together, then you don’t have to let them control you even after the breakup by feeling emptiness. You’ve lived quite a number of years before you met that person and you’ve done fine without them. You obviously weren’t that “happy” with them if you ended up separating so you can just continue on the way you were before you ever met them. I mean, in my case, I really was happy, but …eh, I’m over it XD I’ve lived all the way up till now without him, and I can sure as hell move on without him. There’s no reason to feel empty or lonely. Cause you never are ^^

Well that’s it for now ^^ and to make this not-too-boring, here’s what I’m working on as the cover of my cards binder. Yeah. I’m serious. I have a binder for all my cards. And I believe I have like…..700+ cards XDD and counting…..AND COUNTING…..but yeah. Here ya go. Have fun. Use it if you want, I really don’t mind XD

[one of my first few attempts at drawing Yami in KAGAMI style XD]

Of course it’s not done yet since I haven’t colored it, but I don’t wanna color until I get a tablet. I really think I’ll do amazing things once I get a tablet xDD better than using a mouse all the time x.x dammit I used to have epic skills in using ms paint to draw things, with a regular mouse…..where did all that goooo

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I’m bad Ash. And you’re good Ash. You’re goody little two shoes, goody little two shoes, good little two shoes hahahahha goody little two shoes, good little two shoes–”